it’s been a long while since i felt like this. maybe the fact that my life has been on super speed these past few weeks just couldn’t keep up with my body and emotions. isn’t summer supposed to be the time where you feel free and relaxed? mine, i guess, just took the wrong turn; i am mentally and physically exhausted.
i feel so helpless i feel so alone, i feeel as if the determination i have to do anything to better myself just completely went down the drain. because… of today. can’t i just get a break, one simple day, one simple time to watch a movie with my friends. why is that so hard, why is the need for me to stay at home alone without anything to do always your best and only idea. and if i ask you why i cant, why is it that you truly dont have a reasonable answer…. “because that is what i want, dont question it…”
i push myself to do unnecessarily long classes over the summer because you told me to, i dont need to do crazy things to have fun, unlike others around me because you raised me to be that way, you expect me to be that way, and so i follow through, i do everything you ask me to. i do believe i’m a good daughter. why is it that you never cut me any slack…
i dont know what to do, i dont feel like myself.
i’m too frustrated, i’m too annoyed, i’m too stressed out; but i’m stubborn, as of now moving forward is not an option. guess i’ll be sulking and keeping a frown on my face for however long until i get myself together.
wish me luck.
